Merry Christmas From The Onanism!

I know some of you are having an outstanding Christmas with friends / family... congratulations! I also know that some of you are having a positively dreadful and uncomfortable experience with dysfunctional, high-maintenance, shrill, crybaby guilt mongers. For you, I raise a toast and sincerely wish you the best Christmas day you can possibly salvage from the morning ashes. I direct you to the cupboard for a glass, the freezer for some ice, and the liquor cabinet for a stiff pour. Now find a quiet spot in either the basement, attic, or garage. God bless you!