What group would covet and nurture fear-mongers, oppressors, homophobic, women-hating, intellectually stunted people? The Republican party! How else can a rich minority procure the requisite vote total to get elected than by scaring the Jesus out of ignorant tool-bag citizens? Today the puppet strings most effective in riling up the hillbillies and rednecks are terrorists, abortionists, queers, Muslims, and liberals. Taking the fear pulse of this country shows a peculiar absence of yesteryear's most effective topic of irrational panic: Satan! Whatever happened to the great demon, Lucifer, the yang to Jesus’ yin? Whatever happened to ritual slaughter of animals and occasional humans? Whatever happened to subliminal satanic messages brainwashing the youth? Whatever happened to a simple sale of your soul to reap fame, riches, and talent? During my adolescence in Utah the fear of Satan was so widespread among the Mormon adults that I was grudgingly forced to embrace Him just to rebel. Led Zeppelin was forbidden simply because Jimmy Page and Robert Plant allegedly sold their souls. Naturally I loved Led Zeppelin.
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I mean, look at those mysterious symbols... they must be satanic! We need the religious rednecks to resume their pointless fight against a benign and fictitious enemy. We're all better off when they battle shadows, ghosts, and delusions than when they battle real people. I propose we take the heat off those poor gays fighting the Republican right and "Moral Majority" by spreading fearful stories about a resurgence of Satanic values among the youth. Here's a most excellent article full of fear, blather, and bullshit, which most Christian pinheads will find simply terrifying. Pass it along to an idiot near you!
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