Look At The Excellent Christmas Gift I Gave My Nephew.

The iBoob app Denied By Apple

Gee, this would have been so popular...

Used Car For Sale

Does anybody need a cheap used car? It's $800, has four tires, and has only been used twice to copulate in... it does need cleaning.

Slow Motion Mouse Trap

What a guy, sacrificing his tongue for a cheap, disposable thrill.


null - Watch more free videos

Awesome Town

Here is the inaugural episode of Awesome Town. If nothing else, the introduction is pretty funny...

Putting The Bloody Tree in Storage

• The most extreme piercings. - Oddee



• A truly sick product: the artificial hymen. - HolyTaco



• Socially responsible reasons to punch somebody #60. - PeopleWhoDeserveIt



• The world's most disturbing primate. - UglyOverlord



• Holiday greetings from Sexy People. - SexyPeople



• "Upon seeing the shadow of a pigeon, one must resist the urge to look up." -- Confucius

Faggy Eightees Music

Good ol' faggy Eighties new wave music. The music that time forgot, for better or worse.

Yaz - Only You



Depeche Mode - Lie To Me



Pet Shop Boys - Go West



Bronski Beat - Why



Here's a modern band with an old-tyme sound: Goldfrapp - Fly Me Away



Pop Music



Simply Red - Holding Back The Years



David Bowie and Mick Jagger are shacking up... I wonder why those rumors got started? What were they thinking when they made this awful video?



Prefab Sprout - When Love Breaks Down

Merry Christmas From The Onanism!

I know some of you are having an outstanding Christmas with friends / family... congratulations! I also know that some of you are having a positively dreadful and uncomfortable experience with dysfunctional, high-maintenance, shrill, crybaby guilt mongers. For you, I raise a toast and sincerely wish you the best Christmas day you can possibly salvage from the morning ashes. I direct you to the cupboard for a glass, the freezer for some ice, and the liquor cabinet for a stiff pour. Now find a quiet spot in either the basement, attic, or garage. God bless you!

Robot Chicken Wishes You a Merry Xmas!

The Crisp Refreshing Taste of Boiled Eel

Nothing refreshes like the cool, crisp taste of liquid eel. Japan Tobacco Incorporated is introducing a new canned drink called Unagi Nobori, or Surging Eel. Said to taste like boiled eel, it is a carbonated beverage combining vitamins and pressed extract from the heads and bones of these unfortunate creatures. Pick up a six-pack from an Asian supermart near you.

This Union Is Working For You

AFSCME - watch more funny videos

Have A Merry Credit Crunch Christmas, All Y'All

Turbid Mug Of Onanism

• Do you want a complex backyard pond ecosystem? Use lots of trash and a little know-how. - LowTechMagazine



• 11 Family Pets that are served for dinner. - WebEcoist



• How to survive a bear attack (cartoon). - Break



• I've been doing this wrong for 30 years. - Metacafe



• What separates fine wine from ordinary swill? Apparently 3 minutes @ 600 volts. - NewsScientist

For Those Wide-Stance Republicans

Evil Grim Reaper

Happy Festivus!

It's Festivus time again, a time to drag out the aluminum pole! Festivus includes practices such as the "Airing of Grievances", in which each person tells everyone else all the ways they have disappointed him or her over the past year. After the Festivus meal, the "Feats of Strength" are performed, involving wrestling the head of the household to the floor, with the holiday ending only if the head of the household is actually pinned.

Julian Beever - Artist of the Week

Julian Beever is a sidewalk artist from England. His signature style is chalk drawings on pavement that create the illusion of three dimensions when viewed from the right location. These drawings are created using a projection called anamorphosis and appear to defy the laws of perspective. Click here to visit his website.

Hot Cup Of Onanism

• Here is the definitive collection of Santa / crying kid photos.



• Dick Cheney and Bill Kristol: BFF! - YouAreHated



• Have you lost your home? Here's a handy guide called, "How To Live In Your Car".



• Inner city "intellect" speaking about bizarre things. Good Lord.



• Modern day Parkouring



• "Childbirth is no more a miracle then eating food and a turd coming out of your ass." -- Bill Hicks

Moustache and Beard Championships

Start growing your facial hair, the World Championship Moustache and Beard Contest starts in just 152 days. This year's event takes place in Anchorage, Alaska where the real men live. Sadly, I am not a real man and cannot grow a proper beard.

The Latest Project

This bed frame / desk is an early Christmas gift I gave my son. I built it from Douglas Fir 4x4 posts and copper pipe. Pretty simple and quick to make. I nearly fractured my skull while awkwardly assembling the heavy monstrosity.

Patented For Your Pleasure

Here is another interesting article from the Nonist.com. This covers the strange world of sex toy patent applications.

"What are the things we as a species enjoy? I’m going to go out on a limb and pick two- We enjoy sexual pleasure, and we enjoy tinkering with stuff. The confluence of these two interests have lead, over time, to more sexual gadgetry than you could shake an electrode covered phallus at, and it’s amusing for a couple of reasons. For one, I don’t think with all our noodling we’ve ever actually improved on good ol’ sloppy biology. Secondly, and this is the mouth of the comedy gold mine, all these endless inventions of ours must, if they are to ever to hit the market and enter the orifices at large, pass through the patent office. Can you think of a more incongruous pairing than brute sexuality and government forms? Or of the mysterious workings of human arousal and technical diagrams?" Click here to read more.

Xmas Gift Ideas For Terrible People

From office parties to in-laws, there is no shortage of undesirable people we must buy holiday gifts for. Was your ass kissing co-worker put on your secret Santa list? Hard pressed to find your Republican, golfing father-in-law something on short notice? Here are a few suggestions for that special hated somebody in your life. These also make excellent white-elephant gifts, that sad endeavor where every lousy "present" surfaces again as a re-gift.

• The Wine Snob. The happy man bottle stopper. Tacky, offensive, and hated by the recipient, this cheap bottle stopper effectively tells the wine snob in your life what you think of his hobby.
  

• The Boss. What do you buy the rich bastard who has everything? Since you can't afford a $500 gift, go to the opposite extreme and pay nothing. Any crappy regift will do
  

• The Neocon. Show this person what it's like to feel hope inside with the Commemerative Edition Barack Obama Dildo.

• The Golfer: A battery powered golf ball cleaner. Who cares if every golf course on the planet already has 18 golf ball cleaners, give this tacky gift to the insufferable golf prick in your life, and make sure you don't include batteries.
  

• The Germ-o-phobe: Prepare your favorite germ-o-phobe for his next potential life-threatening fantasy infection. Self-diagnosis books are great for unreasonable people. Buy this one here.

• The Technosnob. Windows 2000 For Dummies. Show a computer geek how superior he is and how hopelessly out of touch you are by gifting an outdated and useless manual.
  

• The Spoiled Brat. How about the little princess who rules the roost? If you know a kid who receives more loot for Christmas than the entire nation of Nigeria, give the little shit a wooden horse.

• The Serious Person. Do you know a kill-joy with a passion for 16th century literature? The man who doesn't speak and doesn't drink at the office party? Rub some brown in his face with The Turd Twister.

Monday Morning Misery

• Hungover? Here are some very unique cures. - Neatorama



• Up Butt Coconut



• Nice pictures of hot-tubbing monkeys. - Dailymail



• This song captures that Monday morning feeling. - Ween



• Are you a natural redhead? This shirt is for you!



• "The approach of Christmas brings harassment and dread to many excellent people. They have to buy a cart-load of presents, and they never know what to buy to hit the various tastes; they put in three weeks of hard and anxious work, and when Christmas morning comes they are so dissatisfied with the result, and so disappointed that they want to sit down and cry. Then they give thanks that Christmas comes but once a year." -- Mark Twain